Thank heavens for the earnest smiles of a stubbornly cheerful 4 year old and the helpfulness of my 8 and 9 year old. I love that the moment-by-moment cure for the moment-by-moment struggles brought on by having children is the children themselves. Like heavy rain during a lightning storm.
But mostly? Thank heavens for Keith. For his cool head when mine is in a panic. For his calm words when I need a call back to reality. For his steadiness when my inner balance is so shaky. For his superhuman patience even when I'm abusing him so unfairly. For the arms that find their way to my shoulders when I find myself wavering.
I hate it when I am like this. But Keith, he loves me anyway. This above all else gets me through. Being half of this team gives me the reason to fight and what I'm fighting for.
It gives me the ability to look at today - see that it's just a bad apple - throw it away, and start again tomorrow.
2 comments:
I think as women, we have all been there Sammie. I have had and continue to have my share of bad apple days. I love the phrase "He never said it would be easy, only worth it." It has been worth it for us, especially now that our older kids can really help out. Your family will get to that point too. But in the mean time, hey if you ever, ever need help, I am here :0)
Dont beat yourself up, Every mom feels like that - they just hide it away and convince everyone else that life is full of gumdrops and candies. Your post actually made me all misty-eyed. Just remember - the horrible, nagging, impatient person that you see is your own opinion of yourself (and we are always harder on our selves)I see an amazing mom - who isn't afraid to admit when times are tough, who tries to see the sunshine of a gloomy day and who frankly...is a mom I have on my hero list. I think you are amazing, and always have!! Keep it up - you are doing better than you think.
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