Home for the Holidays???

Last night as we were driving home from visiting Keith's parents we took a small detour and drove by our old house (per the kids request). I'm going to try and express the impressions I've been having related to this visit and hope it will be cathartic for me. So, please bear with me and my ramblings.

As I have drudged my way through the weeks since we moved, I've come to an important realization....I completely overestimated my readiness to begin a new chapter in my life. In fact, I completely forgot to get ready. I spent so much time preparing my kids, talking to them about the changes that would take place and assuring them that everything would fall into place and turn out just fine that I didn't take a thought to preparing myself for what lay ahead.

There have been days this month that I've just wanted to move back to our old home; to be able to see familiar faces both around the neighborhood and at church, to know where anything was around the house and to have my old routine back, not to have to drive the kids to school and to have friends of mine and my kids that I trusted and felt comfortable with. Also I've missed strange things like knowing which light switch turns on which light, walking down the stairs without all the lights on because I instinctively know how many steps it is, and knowing how long something will take to bake or cook on my stove. I know I'm looney.

But there's no going back and deep down I really know our family is where we are supposed to be. I'm slowly starting to recognize people I have met and teaching Sunbeams yesterday was much better than last week. Then a comment Keith made last night caught my attention. As we pulled away from our old house he said something to the effect of "I feel so much better driving past that house now. We have a lot of great memories from living there, but it's not our home anymore. So, are you ready to go home?" He immediately realized that I didn't quite feel the same way.

One of the things I remember telling Rachael and Dustin as we told them about the move was that it didn't matter where we went, where we lived or where our house was. What matters is that we'll always be together and wherever that is, will be home. Was I lying? Why can't I feel that way inside? What will it take? I still feel like I'm playing house in someone else's home with possessions that look an awfully lot like mine. Will tomorrow be the day that I wake up and feel comfortable in my bedroom? When will this changeover take place for me so I can truly feel like our new house is our new "home"?

Then last night I had another thought. Maybe I need to have some big or special occasion to break in this house and start new traditions while maintaining the old ones. In which case, could the upcoming holidays help ease this strange aching I have in my heart? Does this sound crazy? Anyway, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this week. Hopefully my favorite holiday will help me bring my struggles into focus and put all things I have to be grateful for to the forefront of my mine. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Nine Years Ago Today....

...I married the most wonderful man in the world!!!



Happy Anniversary, Honey Bunches!!! I love you, miss you and can't wait to see you tomorrow!!!

Gonna Be a Long Week

Well, it's a strange thing to be sitting in front of the computer on a Sunday night after my kids are in bed. Instead of Keith and I getting some alone, down-time with each other, I'm waiting for a phone call from him telling me he arrived at his hotel in San Diego. I don't know how other women do it, those who have husbands that travel all the time. I'm having a hard time not thinking that this is going to be a horribly sad, lonely and tiring week. Truth be told, it probably will be, I just need to pray for an attitude adjustment and make it a point to have a great time with my kids. Still, I just want to let Keith know, I already miss you, honey!

On another note, I received my first calling in our new ward, the Sunbeam teacher. I actually heaved a huge sigh of relief once I heard that the bishopric wanted me to serve in Primary. There are definitely bigger callings that could give me much more stress. And once the new year comes around I will get to be Hillary's first Primary teacher which makes me very excited. So today I was sustained and put right to work. For those of you from my old ward you'll understand my shock and surprise as I walked into Singing/Sharing Time for the Jr. Primary and found only 20 children (4 in my class) and this included the CTR 8 class. Back in Lehi when I was the chorister I think there were close to that many sunbeams alone.

Anyway, things went pretty well although I came out feeling discouraged. I thought I had prepared a pretty good lesson but struggled to fill the time and to get participation from my class. And I really thought my recent previous experience as the Primary Chorister would give me a head start. Hopefully things will get better as we become better aquainted. I'm making a goal that during my excessive free time this week (at least at night) I'll take the time to read the scriptures and pray a little harder and maybe I'll gain a little extra insight to the children that I have been given a chance to teach. I would appreciate any words of wisdom any of you might have that might give me a little edge.

Another side note....I want to wish my wonderful sister Michelle a Happy ??th Birthday since I wasn't able to get in touch with her today :)

I wish you all a good week and hope that you are taking the time to prepare for the upcoming holiday by reflecting on the many blessings in your life. We received a challenge in Sacarament Meeting today to try reserve one prayer a week for thanksgiving only, not asking for any blessings, spending the time on your knees in gratitude only. I would share this challenge with you and pray it may make a difference in your lives.

High School Tag....Becky Says I'm It!!!

1. Did you marry someone from high school? Yes, we met in good old Miss Lambert's Calculus class.

2. Did you car pool to school? No way.

3. What kind of car did you have? I drove an 80 something yellow 4 door Suburu that my little brother and I dubbed "the Urine-ator" It had no AC or even worse for me, no radio. I always kept a little battery operated boom box in the passenger seat that I could jam to.

4. What kind of car do you have now? A BMW (Big Mormon Wagon, aka Suburban).

5. It’s Friday night…where are you? (then) Depends what time of year it was. During basketball season I was either playing a game or watching the boys basketball team. They were much better then us girls.

6. It’s Friday night…where are you? (now) Usually at home. I regain a little bit of freedom every night at 8:30 when the kids go to bed.

7. What do you do now? I am the classic domestic engineer. Now that we've moved, my new schedule involves driving my kids to school everyday instead of the 1/2 hour bus ride they used to have. I am not a scrapbooker, craft goddess although nine times out of ten I make a pretty good dinner for my family.

8. Were you a party animal? Absolutely not!!! I know that will be a huge shocker to most people :)

9. Were you considered a flirt? Again, no. Most of the guys I knew were my buds and nothing more.

10. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Choir, and in my senior year I was a member of the Encore Choir, which was considered the best choir in the school.

11. Did you get suspended/expelled? Not in a million years.

12. Can you sing the fight song? If I thought long and hard I might be able to come up with the chorus.

13. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? I would have to go with Miss Lambert, the aforementioned Calculus teacher. She made a hard subject to easy to understand. Also the choir teacher, Ms. Sekona.

14. Where did you sit during lunch? In the commons area if I was at school. I have memories of going to Tricia Peterson's house and having her make tomato soup and cheese toast for me (still one of my favorites).

15. What was your school’s full name? Lehi High School

16. What was your school mascot? Pioneers

17. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Yes, but I'd do a few things differently. I wouldn't have been as afraid to just be myself and quit worrying so much about what other people thought.

18. What do you remember most about graduation? Wishing Keith were there to see me graduate (he was in Chile on his mission).

19. Who did you go to prom with Sr. year? Alas, I was asked and didn't want to go. I had gone with Keith to his senior prom the year before and knew it couldn't be topped. After some strong urging from my mom I went with Craig Loveridge.

20. Did you have fun at Senior Prom? No comment (if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all).

21. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? Every single day, if you count prom my Jr. year.

22. Are you planning on going to your 20 year reunion? Probably not. I haven't been to one yet so why break a perfect record?

23. Do you still talk to people from school? Talk, blog.....as long as we stay in touch.

I tag anyone who went to the same HS as I did, and you know who you are!!!

Almost a Week Later

Below this post are the kids Halloween pics, so take a look. Also here are a few awaited pictures of the new house. I think I already put one of the outside on this blog, but I'll put it on again. There are still a few boxes and empty shelves but for the most part we're unpacked. I'm just glad it's not one week ago!! I hope you all have a great weekend!

Halloween Pics

The kids with Keith after visiting the Halloween party at his work. Keith went as the 3rd member of ZZ Top with a couple of guys in his department.

Rachael as a "good witch"

Dustin as "The Hulk"

Our Pretty Purple Princess

Claire, a cute as a button Lady Bug

I had to throw this one in. I took this on the way home from Keith's work party, it was 5 in the afternoon and we weren't even halfway done trick-or-treating.

Alive...But Barely Kicking

Just a quick note to let you all know that the move went off with out a hitch and we are starting to settle into our new home. Things have been quite crazy with plenty of unpacking, organizing and getting the kids started at their new school. Hopefully I'll be able to post some pics soon, Keith is still working out the kinks with our normal PC and so today I'm using our faithful old laptop. Many of you have requested to see what the inside of the house now looks like and I'll oblige as soon as I can. Thanks to all those who worked so hard on Saturday, we are truly blessed to have such supportive families. We started loading things up at 8 am and were out of our old Lehi house, cleaning and all by 11 am. If I haven't sent you an email with our new info, let me know so you can be in the know too. Until next time......